I’m a 21 year old refugee from one of the countries of Africa. I came to Slovenia 1 year and 8 months ago and I asked for international protection, because my life in my own country was in danger. So far I still didn’t get any answer if my asylum request will be approved or no. If i can stay in this country or no.

I left my country to save my life. My journey to here was more than a year long. 5 months i spent in Serbia in a refugee camp in Belgrade. The conditions were poor and it was cold. After that i spent more than a month in Bosnia, on the street. When i finaly reached Slovenia, I asked for asylum and I was full of hope of a new life. But still I’m living in asylum home. Still without knowing my future.

Quite quickly my happiness dissapeared. Life in asylum home is depressing. First 9 month I didn’t even get a permission to work. So I was all by myself. With my bad thoughts. With my fears. Stress and bad memories were making me self destructive. I was waiting impatiently to get a work permission. But when I did, it took me months to find a job. It’s not easy, to live here as a foreigner. Not knowing the language well, nobody will take you to work. I was learning, but it was not enough. Only in the last few months I’m working. But the stress is taking me over. It’s hard to put yourself fully in, if you don’t know how long will you be able to stay. It goes same with my friendships. Should I make friends if i’m afraid that I will have to leave them?

All the time I’m just thinking what will happen to me. Will they give me international protection or no? Will I be able to stay here or no? Will I have to go to other country and start everything from the beginning? Will I be deported to my own death in my country? Will I be deported to Bosnia, same like one guy from Marocco who was with us in Asylum home and he was deported to Bosnia in the summer, after his last negative? I don’t want to be deported to Bosnia, it was so difficult to escape from there.

I had such a bad life. What plans do these inspectors have for me? Will they understand my situation? Will the help me or make my life worse?

I traveled with many different people. All of them they reached other countries and got their answers by now. Why not me?
This waiting is blocking me seriously.

When I get status, I have to learn. I have to go to school. I have to start speaking the language. I need to start with the good life. I need to get the life that every human being deserves.